How Do You Respond When You’re Insulted?
Yesterday someone left an insulting anonymous comment here at CREEations. I had to think about how I responded.
My fist instinct was to simply delete the comment. Hey, it’s my blog. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. There are only about a hundred gazillion other websites and blogs out there. If you stumbled on my blog and don’t like it, hit the back button. Don’t insult me. Right?
But then I remembered that my only real policy here is to edit out profanity. Since the comment managed to steer clear of that even though it was insulting and hurtful, maybe deleting it wasn’t the right answer in this case.
I could have simply ignored the comment and left it there. But that’s really never been my way.
I chose to respond. Keep in mind that I can be very sarcastic and cynical. In fact that is the way I usually respond to things in general. So I wrote a response that was rather harsh.
But Jesus said we should turn the other cheek. Listen to his words:
“But if you are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do for others as you would like them to do for you.”
That’s pretty strong stuff. Not much room for harsh sarcastic cynicism.
I deleted my first response.
And I’m not sure I really succeeded in purging my sarcasm from my second try.
So my question is how would you have handled it better?
Let’s all learn from this and become better people for it. Leave a comment and let me know your suggestions.
Enjoy!
If you enjoyed this post, get free updates by email or RSS Feed.
8 comments
I usually say thanks for stopping by, feel free to surf through again. And if I’ve got a pushback, I pushback. I don’t think my sarcasm necessarily gets the best of me in those situations - I want to think it’s someone who doesn’t know me, and who’s probably got bigger nastier life issues to deal with than my sharp wit. So I might ask for more, see if there’s some truth in whatever it was. All the while, knowing it’s anonymous and therefore mostly meaningless, I don’t lose sleep - and really hope the offender owns up and reveals, and maybe becomes a friend.
Or I crucify him in the next post. Either way.
Honesty. Rick, that’s one of the things I especially appreciate about you.
I’ve got pretty thick skin so I don’t take much of this sort of thing personally. And I certainly don’t lose sleep over this stuff. I agree that someone who isn’t willing to take ownership of their opinions discounts them tremendously.
I just figure it brings up a question worth discussing and looking deeper into. And I know I can learn better ways of responding from the collected wisdom of you all out there.
Under the circumstances, Chris, you handled yourself fairly well. Kudos to you for not deleting “Dot’s” moronic comments. I feel sorry for Dot. What a sad soul. Remember you can’t get mad at the mentally disabled. Even though “Dot’ may exist in an academic environment, he/she lacks the intelligence to appreciate your website.
Yes, Chris, turn the other cheek and lift “Dot” up in prayer and ask the good Lord to help him/her.
To Dot:
If you are reading this I want you to know that Jesus loves you. Please don’t hide and run away from this. You are obviously sad and hurt. I know Chris Cree is not the type of person to hold a grudge or resentment. Give him a chance to show you that. Having an open and honest communication is the answer.
Chris,
Sometimes its easy to play “Monday Morning Quarterback” and judge how someone responds in critical situations.
I would hope that we all would model Christ in our reponses to insults. I realize that not all have arrived there though (me included).
He will give us the grace to move in the right direction but it is up to us to make the right choice.
Chris,
found your blog through a series of wild blog hops was intrigued by your posts, although (or especially) I’m coming from an entirely different (non religious) background.
Took me a moment to figure out what this blog was about, but eventually I found the post and the comments. I think you implmented this quote (or more precisely my understanding of it) quite well in your asessment and response.
There’s concept I’m trying to live by, and that is “matching energy”. While I think may of the comments there and one here did indeed match the energy (spirit, intent) of that quote, I think you caught yourself in that process and sort of turned it around.
You probably know how it is when push comes to shove and on and on it goes, avoidance of which is what in my understanding is behind that “turn the other cheek” (although I’m in no position to make a qualified statement about Christian scripture).
From a pure observer’s standpoint I’d say you’re right in doubting if you removed the sarcasm entirely but I’d say you’re almost there.
In this light, I’m especially appreciative of Oliver G’s comment, because to me he seems to be the one who not only not matched Dot’s energy but actually entirely dissipated it by offering some kind of understanding and humor, without using the humor as weapon of devaluing and discounting.
Will explore your blog in more depth, watch out for other comments or even trackbacks.
Markus
Marcus, Welcome aboard! I appreciate your point about matching energy.
There’s a Proverb that says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.”
I am getting better. The very fact that I even thought twice about “machine gunning” some one with words is evidence of an improvement.
The challenge I see is turning the other cheek without ending up rolling over and becoming a door mat.
And please know that your views are welcome here. It is good to have several viewpoints represented.
Hey Chris,
I think you handled it just right. I’ve done the same a few times. Let the post go through because everyone sees it for what it is and it’s an opportunity to respond graciously to the person and let them know that they aren’t rattling you.
Thanks for your consistent stream of great posts. I don’t respond as often as I should, but your a constant source of encouragement for me!
Hey Tom! I’m with you. Folks’ character usually shows through in the end. The trouble is too many times their butt shows through along with their character!
Leave a Comment