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A Jesus Follower Encounters a Pro-Abortion Feminist

I had an interesting conversation with a feminist abortion advocate last night.

The thing that impressed me about her pro-abortion post that I landed on was that she expressed her views and opinions without all the rage and emotion that I’ve grown to expect when folks talk about the subject. I wasn’t going to leave a comment because I figured she didn’t really want to hear an opposing view and I wasn’t interested in a debate on the subject. But for some reason I decided to comment anyway and I tried to gently point out one aspect of her position that she might give more consideration.

She came back with a reasoned response that made it clear that she did give my idea genuine thought after she expressed a little surprise that someone of my persuasion didn’t simply just attempt tear her to shreds.

Normally when I have a noteworthy blog encounter I put up a link to the other person’s blog, even when we disagree. However in this case I don’t think she’d much appreciate me sending over a bunch of my pro-life friends. So you’ll have to forgive me for not posting a link to our conversation.

What’s my point?

Yelling ConfrontationMy point is that even in a supremely emotionally charged issue such as abortion it is possible for folks with radically differing views to have a dialogue without attacking each other personally and the conversation devolving into rage.

Too often we seem to insist on proving that we are right and that those with differing views are wrong. We don’t respect other people enough to simply present information and give them the dignity to come to their own conclusions.

Where did we get that approach from?

I don’t see Jesus attacking people personally like we tend to. Sure there were some groups that he didn’t have very flattering things to say about. But even when they came at him trying to lay word traps for him he never directly attacked the person who attempted the trap. Instead he confronted some of their ideas and beliefs.

That’s a huge difference.

We would do much better if we listened to the words of Proverbs and put them into practice.

  • A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
  • The wise person makes learning a joy; fools spout only foolishness.
  • The LORD is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.
  • Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Too often instead, in our need to be right, we end up screaming in someone’s face like the picture above. It’s not working for us. Maybe then we should change our approach.

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Starting Conversations

Liz Strauss posted some great advice last night on her Successful Blog about Conversation Starters.

It’s a topic that is especially important in the business world where the ability to make new contacts can really make a difference. Gorgeous and I have been learning tons about conversing with folks and getting to know strangers better because of her business.

Gorgeous has always been a great conversationalist. Over the years we’ve been married I’ve come to call her my master interrogator because she finds out all kinds of obscure stuff about people she’s just met. And the best part is people love her because they never feel like their privacy was violated. (She could work for the CIA or something. I’m serious. She’s that good.)

Why don’t people feel Gorgeous is invading their privacy? Because she is genuinely interested in learning about people around her. In her case it’s not something she has to muster up. She just likes meeting new people.

But, outside the business world, why should we bother improving our conversation starting skills?

Well for starters it makes life more interesting. I am naturally an introvert. Until I get to know you, that is. After that you can’t shut me up. But very little freaks me out more than walking into a room of complete strangers. The way I’d cope with that was to become a wall flower, which only added to the freak-out factor the next time.

But when you choose to work at learning how to start conversations without being awkward it comes easier and gets less scary. Gorgeous and I make a game out of it now. “Guess what I learned about the new guy?”

The other thing is that you never know how you might connect with someone new unless you talk with them. Just last week I found a connection with a guy. But it only happened because I was genuinely interested in learning about him. Who knows what might come of that one day?

One last example of someone who is a master connector: Our pastor is one of the best conversation starters I know. You might think that that should come with the job. But most of the pastors I know tend to be at least a little introverted or, if they are outgoing, don’t really connect with folks.

But not so with our pastor. We have more folks coming to our campus because they had a conversation with him, which he started, than because of any other person. I’ve watched him “work his magic” and I am continually amazed. For him it just flows naturally. He mixes it up and doesn’t rely on any one technique to get a conversation started. But it flows out of his sincere interest in other people.

What’s the take away?

Get interested in other people.

Go out and start conversations. You never know who you might meet.

Enjoy!